


I Can’t Stop Me

by Romwaeta



Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lena angst, Magica de Spell Being an Asshole, Magica de Spell’s A+ Parenting, Oops, i’m sorry lena, lena is a poet, my comfort characters suffer, post shadow war, pre fhm, songfic kinda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28607412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Romwaeta/pseuds/Romwaeta
Summary: Webby didn’t know much about Lena. Maybe her poems would reveal something that she didn’t know.A look into Lena’s life.
Relationships: Lena (Disney: DuckTales) & Webby Vanderquack
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	I Can’t Stop Me

**Author's Note:**

> hihi so. i wrote this in one sitting- ty for my pal @_sydtheartkid_ for beta reading! the song for this fic is “i can’t stop me” (english version) by twice
> 
> enjoy!!

Webby wasn’t quite sure what to think of Lena now that the Shadow War had come to a close. People began to work on repairing the damage, most of said damages centered around the money bin and McDuck manor. The young girl’s fingers brushed over the leatherbound journal, uncertainty mixed with hesitance.

From what Webby _knew_ about Lena- she was surrounded by walls. On the outside she held the exterior of the stereotypical teenager, a girl who could roll her eyes at anyone and walk away, uncaring and cold. But Webby pushed past that. She had clinged to Lena, and had started seeing a new angle to the older girl.

To start it off, Lena liked soft things. Webby never missed the way she looked longingly at the stuffed toys precariously perched atop Webby’s mattress, or how she’d snort and brush it off if the younger girl dared mention it. She noticed the way Lena’s eyes widened ever so slightly as Webby fastened the colorful friendship bracelet around her wrist. A mix of surprise and pure joy, something Webby didn’t know would be so unforgettable.

Yet it was.

Deeper down, Lena was fond of those around her, she had helped encourage Huey to face the unknown, the older teen would roll her eyes, yet follow along with whatever enthusiastic plan Dewey would cook up, and cover up for any of Louie’s non-lethal schemes.

And in her heart, she was a poet. Which brought Webby back to the journal sitting on her desk. It was worn with age, a long since broken spine and several pages jutting out at strange angles. This very well could be Lena’s most prized possession, something that held Lena’s heart and soul within it.

On one hand, Webby wanted to forget about Lena. Was everything a lie? She knew that Lena had fought against Magica. _For her_. Yet, at the same time, maybe it was just a ploy. Something to get them to want Lena back, or something that Magica could use against them. Maybe it had all been planned from the start. But… on the other side of the coin, Lena didn’t know anything- any _one_ better. From the day she was created, all she had known was Magica’s empty words and promises.

Maybe, reading Lena’s journal would bring some of the rebel teen’s story to light. 

\--------------------------------------------

_I'm hearing all the alarms ring-a-ling  
They go off every time that we're face to face  
Why is it so hard to resist?  
Temptation sweet as honey, I know it's too late_

Everything felt strange. Wrong. For the past few years, Lena had wandered the globe. Mindlessly following the voice in her head- none other than her dear old Aunt Magica. Every order she barked, each and every insult she threw, it was all she knew. It was the only thing Lena felt she could even do. It wasn’t until much later on, that Lena realized how messed up her relationship with her supposed family was.

“You’re doing it _wrong_. It needs to be a _full_ moon, you insolent _whelp_. Pack up and do it right next time. You are a descendent of Magica de Spell, if I can even _refer_ to you as my kin. All you can ever seem to do is _mess up_ ”, her aunt barked angrily. Lena’s grip tightened around the moonstone in her grasp, sucking in a deep breath.

“I _thought_ we were family or whatever,” Lena mumbled beneath her breath, flinching as darkness swarmed her vision. Her surroundings faded away, and she was faced with angry red eyes- spotlights that seemed to poke and prod into every fear and insecurity the girl had. “I mean, if all I ever do is _mess up_ then why don’t you just come over here and do it instead? What do I know if I’m not even worth being referred to as _real_ ,”

“We _are_ family, Lena. My sweet, dumb, dumb, little Lena, and _family_ is supposed to _help_ and follow _orders_. Neither of which you are even _trying_ to do. You know I’d do this myself if I could, but-” shadowed claws swung wildly in Lena’s direction, eliciting a flinch from the young girl. “-I _can’t_. So jump off your high horse and do _something_ useful with your pitiful excuse of a life.”

So many alarm bells rung in the back of her mind. Lena didn’t know whether to formulate a snark reply, or carry through and head back to the abandoned farmhouse she had scoped out as a temporary home. The bells in the back of her mind rang wildly every time Magica spoke. Lena _knew_ nothing the woman said was in full truth or sincerity, but…

“Wait,” Lena let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She darted her eyes downwards, ignoring the red spotlights once again basking her in an uncomfortable glow. The teen bit her lip, tightening her grip on the stone in her grasp and looking up, eyes meeting with Magica’s. “You say we’re family, and you say that family is supposed to help you...”

“Yes, we’ve been over this, _Lena_ ,” Aunt Magica rolled her eyes, her shadowed silhouette making work of crossing its arms and tapping its foot impatiently. “What of it?”

“I… I want something from you, so we can trust each other,” Lena sucked in a sharp breath, moving her free hand to fidget with the sleeve of her oversized sweater. 

“And what is it you want? Until _you_ make yourself useful and seize Scrooge’s number one dime, there isn’t much I can _give_ you,” Magica’s tone picked up- evidently growing with anger the longer the conversation went on. Lena hesitated, but only for a second.

“When all of this is done, I want my freedom.”  
\--------------------------------------------

_I feel it deep inside, I'm gonna lose the fight  
Eventually I know that I'll be crossing the line  
I try warning myself, because I'm in need of help  
Can't hold me back, already standing right at the edge  
I’m out of control_

She was in Duckburg now. Lena had managed to find the abandoned prop room beneath the long forgotten and flooded amphitheater, and after some redecorating and scrounging around, it finally felt like it could be home.

Sort of.

Lena knew this wasn’t a stable living condition. The teen was aware of how cold it became at night, and how the musty scent of mold and mildew was doing absolutely no good for her physical health- or lack thereof. But she wanted this. The small belief that this could be her place. In the near future she’d be free from Magica, and she’d be free to make her own decisions. She wouldn’t have to worry about the disapproval hanging over her shoulders, or the bait of freedom dangling just out of reach.

Deep down, she knew that there was the chance that Magica would never actually grant her the freedom that she longed for, but that was something she could worry about later on. She hadn’t even found a way into McDuck Manor yet, she could think about her freedom when the dime was held between her fingertips.

Later that afternoon, she had met Webby, a girl bubbling with so much energy, it was almost contagious. Throughout the evening, they had raided a criminal gang’s party, disrespected said gang’s leader, and had been chased through the city until Lena had gotten herself captured.

She didn’t need Magica in her ear whispering harsh insults, monologuing about how it was _Lena’s_ fault that neither of them would ever get what they wanted. But then Webby had come- not because she had to, but because she _wanted_ to. Lena couldn’t even mask the surprise on her face as Webby barreled in, trying her best to untie her newfound friend.

 _Friend_.

In one day, Webby had shown more kindness than Lena had experienced in her entire life, and the teen wasn’t quite sure what to make of that information. The most ironic part of it all, was that Webby lived in McDuck Manor. Webby was her ticket in, but Lena just didn’t know anymore. She didn’t know what was right. She knew deep down, that Magica’s words were just empty promises, and that her freedom was only being acknowledged as a bargaining chip. 

Was Webby worth crossing the line?  
Lena shifted in bed, pulling her thin blankets around her as best as she could. They did nothing against the cold autumn air, but she tried nonetheless. She was so _confused_. For so long, all she had wanted was her freedom, yet, now an energetic child was making her rethink everything she thought that she knew.

Maybe Lena should reach out, tell someone- tell _Webby_. But if she did that, there was no telling what Magica would do in response. Would she hurt Lena? Go as far as to hurt _Webby_? The teen shook the thought away, she was so close to Scrooge McDuck, she was on the edge of this. She just needed to take the opportunity.

Her freedom would be worth it.

Right?

\--------------------------------------------

_Oh I've been caught under the spot, spot, spotlight  
I wanna cave in to the dark side calling to me  
The ending's obvious, I know it's not right  
I can't stop me  
You pull mе over to the red, rеd, red line  
I can't escape it, you're my weakness and you're my vice  
In the shadows, you're the only highlight  
I can't stop me_

She was trapped. Lena was utterly stuck- Magica was growing more powerful. She could _physically_ hold Lena back. After the previous sleepover, Lena wasn’t sure what had terrified her more; how willing Magica was to let her die so long as she got what she wanted, or the fact that she could do more than just insult Lena now.

It had started out like any other day with Magica. The shadow sorceress had droned on about getting Scrooge’s dime, pushed Lena to smuggle some ancient gem into the manor, and find a way to slip it into the money bin. Magica had failed to mention most of what the gem was capable of- but Lena was hesitant about the entire ordeal. Webby had invited her for a sleepover. The younger girl _wanted_ Lena around, and that in itself made Lena feel something she never thought she would.

Hiraeth. Longing for a home that never was or one could never return to.

Webby was her hiraeth, and Lena _knew_ how dangerous that was. She was going to betray Webby. Webby would hate her, and all of it would be the cost for her freedom. Lena didn’t even know what she wanted for herself anymore, but hurting Webby was absolutely not it.

A friendship bracelet had been fastened around her wrist, and Lena felt the last straw snap. She needed to stop this. Her freedom wasn’t worth it. _Magica_ wasn’t worth it. Lena was still able to stop this- she just needed to ignore Magica and refuse to steal the dime. She didn’t think it’d be that hard.

Except for later that very evening, when she realized she _physically couldn’t_ ignore Magica. The sorceress would follow through and get what she wanted. No matter the price. She wouldn’t care if Lena became one of the casualties of her feud, and that terrified the teenager. She knew it wasn’t there, but Lena could practically feel Magica’s iron grip around her wrist. Pulling her across the imaginary line, pulling her away from everything she knew.

There’d be no going back.

Magica would make sure of it.

\--------------------------------------------

_You're my forbidden fruit  
Pretend that there's no rules  
I'm turning all the lights off tonight  
And spiraling into the abyss, losing myself_

“Hey, Lena!” the teen perked up at Webby’s voice. Lena had been invited over to the manor for a late brunch, something she had definitely found to be normal when being friends with Webby. A side glance to her shadow sent a pang of guilt down her spine- she didn’t deserve Webby. The younger girl led her through the foyer, dragging her into the familiar dining room.

Seated around the table was the set of triplets, accompanied by Webby’s grandmother, and at the head of the table sat the very man she was trying to avoid. Lena sucked in a deep breath, taking a seat and tapping her leg anxiously.

“Ah, Lena, what a pleasure for you to join us,” Beakley softly smiled, setting a plate of pancakes in front of the girl. Lena couldn’t help but shift awkwardly, feeling Scrooge’s gaze on her as she picked up the utensils carefully placed on a napkin.

“Thanks, Tea Time. No english muffins covered in syrup?” Lena flashed a grin at the older woman, who rolled her eyes and sighed in response. She set down the rest of the plates, taking a seat for herself and gently stirring a cup of tea. 

“Okay, so! We wanted to play death darts, and didn’t know if you wanted to join us! I have an extra gun and a spare set of night vision goggles, we could totally take down the boys if we work together!” Webby squealed with excitement, already setting to work on cutting through her pancakes. Lena let out a low giggle.

“Woah- woah- Lena should be on our team! She’s older, and therefore obviously wiser! If you two teamed up, we’d die on the spot or something!” Louie protested, setting his glass on the table with a little more force than was necessary. Lena did her best to hide her flinch, but she could have sworn that Scrooge cocked an eyebrow at the ordeal.

“That sounds like the point? I think Webby and I would be an excellent team- right, Red?” Lena grinned mischievously, sharing a quick glance with Webby. In the back of her mind, Magica was droning on about _something_ but Lena couldn’t find it within herself to care.

“First of all, it's Huey. Second of all, you would be! Which is exactly why we’re… well, scared is putting it lightly,” the eldest triplet trailed off, fidgeting with his thumbs. 

“Wonderful, it’s settled then. Webby and I will be a team,” Lena shrugged, finishing her pancake and gently placing her fork on the plate. Her beak curled into a smile, and she exchanged another glance with Webby, “This will be a most serendipitous event, won’t it, Englabeth?”

“Most indubitably, Brittania.” Webby responded in a British accent, the two girls falling into a fit of laughter. Lena dragged in a breath, standing up from her seat and extending a hand to Webby. As the girl reciprocated the action, Lena couldn’t help but feel another jolt of shame.

She didn’t deserve Webby. 

The day had progressed, and it was time to play the game that had the triplets shaking with fear. Lena would have laughed- until the power was cut out. Darkness surrounded her at every corner, and as she turned to look for Webby…

All she saw were red eyes.

Lena let out a scream, dropping to the ground and wrapping herself up as tightly as she could. She didn’t have the dime. She had failed Magica and she was _mad_ -

“Lena?”

\--------------------------------------------

_There is no turning back  
Addicted to the feeling like I'm caught in a trance  
It's like you flip a switch, your power over me  
Is limitless and now all I can do is give in_

“My aunt is Ma-” she was abruptly cut off, unable to speak. Her eyes widened in fear, fingers trailing up and down her throat as she desperately searched for some way to continue her sentence. “-ah.. A- _ad_. That I- haven’t. Checked in. With- her, I’ve got, to- go-”

Lena was horrified. Magica had complete control.

“Alright, lass. Let’s get you home to your family, then,” Scrooge then turned his back, walking up the stairs alongside Webby. Lena wanted to reach out, to scream. She wanted to do anything that wasn’t being monitored or controlled by Magica.

But she couldn’t.

The teen let out a low whimper as the shadows closed in from every corner, slinking up her limbs and encasing her with darkness. With a final push, Lena felt herself grow distant- _too_ distant. She fought, she screamed, but it was like her head was underwater. She watched through her own eyes, as she was no longer in control.

All Lena could do now was give in.

She was tired.

\--------------------------------------------

_This is an emergency  
Help me, help me, somebody stop me  
Because I know I can't stop me  
Getting closer and closer  
When I know I'm in danger  
Need to get away from you  
You're like the devil on my shoulder_

She fought and struggled, but she couldn’t regain control. She watched as Magica spoke with Webby, as she eyed Scrooge in search of the dime. She was forced to stand back- away from her own _body_ \- as Magica left the manor. 

Her last hope of saving was gone, and she was alone with a monster.

“Finally! I’ll enact my revenge, Scrooge will forever regret imprisoning the great _Magica de Spell!_ ” Magica’s voice felt so wrong coming from Lena’s body. It was _her_ body, not Magica’s. 

Lena felt weak, and powerless. She couldn’t fight for much longer.

She was trapped, the sweet temptation of freedom too far out of reach.

\--------------------------------------------

_What's going on inside?  
There's a war I'm trying to fight  
Since it opened my eyes  
I can't stop me_

Everything felt blurry. She managed to reclaim control for moments, only for it to be crudely snatched away from her seconds later. Lena knew now.

She couldn’t stop herself.

 _I’m sorry, Webby_.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to the weblena discord server for motivating me to write this! thanks for reading!!


End file.
